In the #FakeNews today: In #India, there is the long celebrated and profitable #Vyapam industry where prestigious and coveted entrance exam scores, Indian government college merit seats and government bureaucracy positions/jobs are sold to the highest bidder. Eminent politicians and bureaucrats, who believe that opportunities in government should be for sale in India, have taken the necessary steps to protect their freedom to make large amounts of money in this business by taking out contracts on the lives of those who stand against this “made in India” business practice. In fact last year, top officials even quoted this ancient and thriving business practice at a World Business Forum, as proof that it is India that taught the world about this way of doing business; “We already had this long ago”, they said.
Today, #PrimeMinisterofIndia #NarendraModi announced that he would take a revolutionary stand, stating that he would support the #SelfieWithSupari campaign, which has been developed at the gathering of the “Earning Crores Per Meeting While in National Government Syndicate”, to promote solidarity between the Vyapam officials and the activists and students who feel oppressed by this thriving and proud traditional #Bhartiya industry.
#PMModi has called on all the #Vyapam #CEOs and middle management as well as their feet-on-street representatives (also called #ContractKillers) to take selfies with their targets before they take them out. He has even allotted $500 crores towards this campaign, saying that ECPMWINGS will make sure it reaches the right hands before the campaign loses steam and people forget about all this.
The semi-conscious constant-consumers of India as well as #NaMo supporters and followers have named this as probably the most brilliant and unselfish visionary act that has ever been carried out by a powerful politician in the #HistoryOfIndia.
Some people called it inadequate and a veiled perpetuation of the status quo. They have been issued a #QuitIndia notice by the people of India. The #PeopleOfIndia have indicated that India does not need people capable of critical thought. They do not want people who question authority. They clarified that India needs obedient workers; people who know just about enough to do the work while Indian rulers can keep going to the banks. Indian billionaires concur and express their deepest gratitude to the citizens for supporting their rights and freedoms.
On other news…
– Extreme economic disparity has been adopted as the new primary aim in the five year plan proposed by the finance ministry of #Rothschild, I mean India; #FinanceMinistryOfIndia.
– A song about making lots of money, composed and sung by India’s richest industrialist’s son, artist Some Baani, may feature in the list of replacements for the Indian national anthem now that the current anthem has been found to be a conspiratous song written in honor of King George and his wife, Queen Mary. Other nominees include an item song about the twelve ways in twelve months and an optimistic track about the continuity of the same party (party yuhin chalegi).
– #FairnessCream / #SkinWhiteningCream brands banned from saying “fairness cream” or “skin whitening cream “in their ads may now promote their brands via their premium bottled “baby placenta” product line.
– #Displacement of #NativeIndians (#Adivasis) by #Urbanization,#Imprisonment or #Death on the agenda for the year. The#CentralReservePoliceForce has been deployed on these #IndianCitizens and #ForestOfficials have been instructed to begin marking the newly freed up land for #IndustrialDevelopment.
– “No #Rapes in the past 30 minutes”, exclaimed proud Police Chief and father of two girls, to a standing ovation, during his keynote speech at the last #PressClub meet in Mumbai earlier today.
And in the weather…
– #DustClouds over all major cities. Air unfit to breathe for the rich but the poor and middle class will be just fine, say experts.
And now, here’s Arnab and his throbbing nation’s wanting to know!